Sunday, December 17, 2006

Week 5 - Possibilities

Hanged Woman 1
This is the Hanged Woman from the Shining Tribe Tarot by Rachel Pollack.

Or, to be more precise, its my first version of the card as drawn originally in my week of Identity. And included in the picture for the review of that week.

I'd included it as one of two images that represented me - the other, the 6 of Trees, was the first card to be repeated in my daily drawn cards as I've continued to "randomly" select one card a day and draw it every morning after my morning pages (they have become morning pages not doodles recently).

The reason I'd considered The Hanged Woman an image of myself was because I'd done a self-portrait collage a couple of years ago with a woman in wellies, painting a rainbow - and I included her in a MMM earlier this year - I'd very specifically positioned the body in a positional variation on the Hanged Person. And I've only just noticed that in my version of the Shining Tribe card above I put a rainbow into The Hanged Woman - that doesn't occur on the card in the deck though the boat is described as Noah's ark.

I had later made a simplified version of it to use on ebay when, for a month I sold some tarot readings. (Incidentally I found this fun, and had amazing feedback on my accuracy but it was taking me all day everyday and I was spending more on new cards than I made on the readings - I had to stop! Not the new career I was hoping it might be.)

This week The Hanged Woman has come up twice:
Hanged Woman  2

This was the image that I drew on Wednesday - the day I began this week of "Possibility" (but due to Christmas things, brothers and plumbers have failed before now to blog).

The stars didn't make it in but otherwise its a reasonably faithful copy. Rather than concentrate on it after drawing it I drew another card and made an image of that too, so distracting me from considering The Hanged Woman properly. I'd felt that I wanted to make a new image... The card I picked was the 9 of Stones which is the card of the remade self. So another version of self.

Then the doorbell went. At the door was a woman asking about a Miss So-and-So, whom she asserted lived next door, and wasn't answering her door or her phone; the woman at the door said she had an alarm to fit.

I was confused as the people next door are not called So-and-So, but the name, So-and-So, was in fact the name of an ex of mine (who will remain anonymously a So-and-So unless he turns up and comments that its fine to name him), someone who'd considered The Hanged Man to be his card and for whom I'd painted a rather gaudy silk shirt featuring The Hanged Man as a central motif surrounded by other pictures from the Major Arcana.

He'd put rather a damper on the idea of ever wearing it (it was bright!) and I chucked it out (now I wish I'd thought of over-dyeing it). I do remember my sister saying as she looked at it during construction that I could draw in that tone of voice that says she'd always doubted it before! Anyway this was the first time that I'd actually copied tarot images and it was for Mr So-and-So, the Hanged Man.

As I talked to the woman at the door her mobile went asking where she was and I suspect she discovered she was in the wrong street - something that happens a lot around here as there are too many with similar names.

As I shut the door on her and her alarm, one of our smoke detector's alarms went off - the plumber had forgotten to disable it before he started soldering. I'd removed the one that was in a light socket earlier - a fire angel - not because I remembered but because the light bulb had gone...

Wednesday was also the day after the night before for us - we'd been to the IMDb's Christmas do on Tuesday. The plumber had commented that I was "hanging" which I assume was his expression for hungover! (I doubt he knew I'd interpret it as a reference to the Hanged Woman!)

So this week of Possibility started by me considering my past with respect to the image of the Hanged Woman.

Yesterday before pulling a card to draw I thought I'd like to draw one differently. Still basing it on whichever card from the Shining Tribe that I pulled but closer to my own style. Then I pulled 12 The Hanged Woman again:

Hanged Woman  3

Looking at it I feel that it needs even more adjustments to make it mine.

I had a dream a few nights ago which concluded with me saying "I'm Tree Woman"!

I see now that Tree Woman is what my Hanged Woman image should be. I wonder what superpowers Tree Woman would have - somehow I doubt she gets to fly... I'd always thought of my old avatar as a sort of tree woman but I'd never really considered what powers a tree woman would have.

And of course the other image that I used on my Identity picture was the 6 of Trees.
6 of Trees

Last week was reading deprivation week and I abandoned L is for Lawless which I'd been reading the week before. I'd gone off it before the reading deprivation started which was very handy as there was less incentive to pick it up. So this week I've moved on to M is for Malice. And I've already noticed synchronicities as I read it - that was what I most missed last week - I almost always get synchronicities with the books I'm reading.

Today I've been playing more with the mixed real media images that I said I'd do as my five to give away. So far only Tinker has asked for one. I've felt really hurt by this. No-one else wanting my pictures. But really I'm having such fun making them (and no they are not ready to be photographed and blogged yet - I keep on seeing more I want to do to them!) that it doesn't matter if I get to keep them too!

I am actually working on six. I've owed Kyknoord a picture ever since the beginning of the year when I offered him one to brighten up his place. I'm planning to give him the pick of the one's I'm making and if there is one he likes he'll get that - if he doesn't that's okay - the arrangement was I'd only post him a picture if he liked it.

As soon as I offered it I went into a sort of blocked state and found it really hard to make anything that wasn't digital. Andrea has suggested I print out my digital pictures but the size I'm making them would produce pictures about 3 or 4 inches maximum on a side - it takes more computer power than I've got to create larger 300 dpi collages in Painter IX.

Wow this has been a long post - thank you for reading, if you have! It has been a chance for me to explore what this Hanged Woman means to me outside the Tarot meaning of the card.


Anonymous said...

What amazing synchronicities, Caroline! Those kinds of things give me the shivers, and leave me wondering what EXACTLY the Universe is trying to tell me, since it seems so obvious that it's trying to tell me SOMETHING.
What is your interpretation (or that deck creator's interpretation) of the hanged woman card?
I like the tree woman avatar. I just had a strange dream last night about a tree that was carved into the shape of a dragon, and played like a flute when the wind blew...which sounds neat, but the dream ended strangely with animals fleeing down the street & more dramatic scenarios. All of which is beside the point, sorry to babble on your blog about my nightmares...
Did I really win all 5? Woo hoo! Don't worry - take your time.

Caroline said...

Tinker - synchronicities are amazing aren't they!
After posting this Jim called me to supper, as I went downstairs I heard a yelp - he'd switched on the light that hangs over the table and the bulb had fallen out - broken off strangely - though the glass was complete still.

The Hanged Woman in the Shining Tribe Tarot has this little verse with it:

She plays with angels,
She climbs the tall branches,
She rests on the water,
She listens for laughter

In the description of the card she mentions that "it shows us the Tarot's great secret; that we achieve genuine independence when we attach ourselves to the rhythms of the universe."

It is about playfully surrendering to the universe.

The divinatory meaning upright (as I've shown it) is about attachment to what truly matters. Independence from public opinion or pressure from others. Confidence in one's own values. It can also mean its time to surrender something especially a fondly held belief.

Nightmare images can be very powerful and are worth paying attention to I think - they are messages that may have got a bit blurred by your not consciousness having to shout to be heard!

That's adult nightmares - children's ones are more likely to be processing stuff from past lives... which is something I've only realised as I've become an adult and recalled some of my past lives...

And yes it looks like you might well end up with all 5!

Caroline said...

Tinker - I've just put 2 and 2 together... you said your dream was about "a tree that was carved into the shape of a dragon" - I'd named my tree avatar Womandrake originally, as a female version of Mandrake. And of course a drake is another name for dragon!

isay said...

hi caroline! i enjoyed looking at all the images and your post. i like them all and the rainbow gave life to your drawings. And, your avatar is beautiful, really.

i did not comment on your help post because i don't have the time to make the 5 pictures and it is not because i don't like your pictures.

anyway, i hope you had a nice weekend. best regards.

Anonymous said...

Hi Caro!
I would like one of your drawings...I was feeling apprehensive to comment and do the meme. I was afraid that no-one would ask for my art because they don't have art to give away or because they are too busy for the holidays.
Can I just make you something instead? Like a swap?

I really like when you post about synchronicities - it makes me more aware of the synchronicities in my life and I don't brush them off so easily.

steve said...

Wow, the six of trees is my favorite caroline! These have a very totem-pople like quality to them. have you thought of doing a series of the trees in this style. I could see them as some great colorful sculpted or jewelry pieces even.

Anonymous said...

I have collapsed in exhaustion at the thought of the possibility of accomplishing near as much as you have Caroline ... congratulations for all your energy and sharing it. Have a great week too :)

PS: Regularly stalk youuuu ....

Reluctant Nomad said...

Your synchronicities are certainly amazing!!

I don't know when your Xmas card arrived but I only noticed it in my postbox on Friday morning as I was going to get my lift. I knew what it was but decided not to open it until I got to Amsterdam later that evening.

What a beautiful card! Thank you very much!

As I opened it in my funny little garret overlooking a canal with a purple, blinking sign, 'Live Sex Show' not far beyond, one of the sequins fell off. I thought of keeping it but decided I rather leave it there.

Thanks once again.

Anonymous said...

they are very worthy pieces, caroline! the reason i don't ask is i cannot assure them a responsible home. (it's the same with all the spare animals i am asked to consider taking in). i'm a minimalist in most aspects of my lifestyle. ;o)

Anonymous said...

she looks very serene for a hanged woman - is she perhaps just hanging. i've recently been told regular (daily)hanging (upside down) is good defence against strokes.

Caroline said...

Isay - thank you, its very sweet of you to say that - I obviously needed more practice at not caring what other people thought - a central lesson of the Hanged Woman...

Joy Eliz - a swap would be excellent - who cares about the meme! You are one of the five! I write about synchronicities because it makes me more aware of them too.

Steve - thanks - my version of the 6 of trees is quite a lot like the original and is one I really like too. I like the idea of making some sculptures like them - really I see them as huge but I suppose given the space I've got macquettes or scaled down pieces would be more manageable.

Anonymous - thanks for coming out of hiding! Sorry I exhausted you ;-)

Reluctant Nomad - glad you got the card funny that your card stripped off a sequin with so little encouragement.

Ian - I don't know that they are worthy pieces... I haven't dared look at them after what I did to them yesterday...

She is very serene - its because she looks at the world differently to others not caring whether anyone wants her pictures or not ;-) I used to live upside down when I was 11-14 - mostly headstands or handstands propped against a wall... I'd forgotten that aspect of similarity... I've not done any recently, not that fit yet, though I'm miles better than I was!

Anonymous said...

Now I know what you're branching out;o)
Great work, Caro!

Caroline said...

Funny Cream! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

WOW! These are all great in their own way...I love them all!

isay said...

hi again caroline! your post was optional-

also to say-thank you for your wishes for my sister &.....

Anonymous said...

Wow, Caroline, I can't imagine how you're finding time for all this wonderful work! Obviously taking the advice of the Hanged Woman and not giving in to the outside pressures that there are so many of at this time of year! Well done you! :)
I would love to have some of your work, but I, too, was daunted by the prospect of having to find/make 5 items to give away, especially as I am already behind with one meme!
This was a fascinating post, Thanks so much. Got your tree up yet?! ;)

Caroline said...

Ellen - thank you!

Isay - you've managed so many faces in your avatar and most people have trouble getting one in! I do hope your sister gets the help she needs.

Suzie Q - thanks - I am way behind on lots of the Christmas things but yes we do now have out tree up!!!

Anonymous said...

what a great post, caroline! i love all the tree imagery. i feel a particular connection with trees. and i love how you are making these cards over in your own way. it's inspiring. i just read about your art give-away and it appears that you already have five folks, but if not, feel free to email me, I'd love receive your art!

Anonymous said...

damn. a spooky day.

i always loved that avatar. i saw in it a tree, and at the same time legs and a hand resting with the thumb touching the pinky. one of my favorites.

Caroline said...

Leah - if you are really prepared to take it on you'll be the fourth I think. Thank you!

Catnapping - thanks for saying that about my old avatar - I liked it too!