Every Friday the local newspaper, the Bristol Evening Post, has a separate property section. In it the estate agents advertise those properties which haven't sold yet. I get it quite often to giggle over the descriptions. Here are a couple from last night's issue:
This one has been in the paper on and off for a long time now... maybe it really isn't visible:
Frenchay £439,950 A magnificent three bedroom detached cottage, located in the heart of Frenchay Village, yet not readily visible by traditional methods. This charming property boasts many attractive features, which one would not necessarily be aware of from its initial appearance. A secluded family retreat which must be viewed to be fully appreciated.In one of the adverts written to look like an article we find this:
A FANTASTIC conversion of a 19th-century redundant church in the leafy suburbs of Redland is rewriting the property rulebook in Bristol..... The Cloisters is a fantastic development in the heart of Redland.The road it is on is one of the borders of Redland with Bishopston.... So this rewriting of the rulebook must also include a redrawing of the areas of Bristol... maybe this is like wearing your heart on your sleeve... needless to say Redland is in general a more expensive area than Bishopston but Cranbrook Road is very busy and therefore cheaper. And it looked a lot leafier around there before the developement... they removed all the plants from around the church...
They are also doing something very odd to the images on the website - they seem to have taken many of them in portrait mode but are displaying them in landscape thus changing their proportions very weirdly.... including the picture of the actual church
Whoops I'm getting too serious here... here is another phrase from the same "article":
If you are seeking peace and privacy the Tower is unsurpassed - an intimate tower room is approached via a winding staircase where the owner can sit with only the Bristol skyline as disturbance in the distance.I suspect that the noise and fumes of the road below have created this disturbance...
We have had a great view of this building's tower being cleaned up from our dining room window - this is what we see of it:
Leafy in front but with the new school still being built behind it. So reciprocally that means whoever gets that tower room will be getting a great view of the new school and of our dining room - maybe we are the source of the disturbance in the distance...
Update: Jim has been following up the whereabouts of Redland... and according to the Bristol City Council's wards we are in Redland, not Bishopston and at least by this definition of Redland the Estate Agents are right - Cranbrook Road goes right through the middle of it! However the area that they are calling Redland excludes Redland station and is not the normal definition used even by estate agents in Bristol.